lately...

The past few weeks have been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. There has just been so much on my mind, so much that has been happening that i feel i'm emotionally, physically and spiritually drained! But it hasn't all been bad. There's been great news too. But i sure have reached a point where i truly just need a break!

But I'll share a little bit about my day today. This morning i had an exam. Tak and I left the exam early to attend a funeral. Though i wasn't close to the person who past away, it did sadden me to see a life lost of someone who was so well loved. I went to the funeral to support Tak and to pay my respects. It was a Buddhist ceremony which we were aware of. Now, i've reached a point in my spiritual walk with Christ where i know attending a Buddhist funeral, wont affect my faith. My beliefs won't be jeopardized because i know where i stand. But in saying, at one point of the ceremony, joss sticks were handed out to everyone and I was a bit taken back because i didn't know what to do and sure wasn't expecting it. Everyone had taken one and at such a place and time, i didn't want to offend anyone! I had to be really sensitive to those hurting around. So many thoughts were rushing through my mind but personally between God and I, i knew i couldn't have taken it. Just on a note, if i had taken it i wouldn't have used it as part of the ceremony, it would have just been out of respect* But i realised i didn't have to explain myself to anyone but God. I knew for me it would have been easier to have taken it. To have followed others because being under the scrutiny of others isn't exactly the best feeling, especially in those conditions. But i knew between God and I, I had made the right decision and my spirit was lifted from it.

Since attending bible college i've grown to become more sensitive to the spirits calling. To have a spirit of discernment and to really take note of the bigger picture of the warfare that is going on around. I've learnt overtime to discern between my fleshly emotions and to my spirits yearning. There have been moments where i have felt overwhelmed with burdens even though there had been nothing significantly wrong in my life. I've come to realise in time like those that it is my spirit that is burdened. And i find the deeper i grow in my faith, the stronger this spiritual warfare wages because good and evil is always in conflict with each other. But of course that is why we can't fight this fight on our own. It's why we turn to Jesus for strength and help.

Today during the ceremony my heart bleed, because my spirit was crushed with the words which came from the Buddhist monk. He spoke in slow english and told everyone to 'pray.. to.. the.. Buddhist.. God.' With each word he spoke i could feel my spirit sinking deeper and deeper. On the flip side, my everyday emotions would have past it by quite easily. Sure i may have been offended by it but knowing my faith, it wouldn't have affected my personally. But it really got to me because i know there is a greater purpose in life than just living it out day by day. There are soul out there to save and bring into the light and it's my spirit which reminds me everyday of this. What we have to remember is that we are not believers that are a part of a church, but rather Warriors part of the Holy Kingdom which reigns. When we start to realise and grasp that, we can begin to see the bigger picture in life. Our life shouldn't be boxed in and decided by our scores in exams, our jobs or our future. There is a war waging and we need to be prepared. A time will come when we are judged. Now is our time to fight the good fight of faith while we can. Now is the time to be saving souls.